WWE Royal Rumble 2009 - Preview & Predictions

Opening Promo
The start of 2009 has not been much fun for some people that worked for WWE as a large number have been laid off. The whole of their Pacific offices in Sydney has been shut down, 10% at the main office in the US have been let go, referees have been sacked, many wrestlers have been cut (mainly veterans & young developmental guys). They also got rid of Val Venis, a favourite of many, whose gimmick was that he was a porn-movie actor, who was pretty much the last remnants of the excellent Attitude Era where they would regularly push the envelope in bold new directions. Oh how I pine for another one of those eras, heaven knows the industry could use one. They also literally jobbed the excellent Victoria into retirement, an excellent wrestler who has been wasted for years probably because she wasn’t considered pretty enough. Hopefully she will show up in TNA or SHIMMER in the near future so she can truly showcase her ability. The worst case though is probably referee Mickie Henson has lymphoma and was promised that his job was safe because he didn’t have health insurance, yet he was let go. Promises apparently mean nothing to Vince McMahon, who to the joy of many got a stiff kick in the head this week. Karma? I’ll let you decide.

Enough with the doom and gloom. Now, the Royal Rumble is one of the traditional ‘Big 4’ PPVs of the year and they use it to start to build to their flagship show Wrestlemania in a few months time. This event is famous for having a huge battle royal. Expect an extra large fireworks display given that Vince now has some spare change to burn.

WWE Championship
Jeff Hardy (c) vs. Edge
They finally pulled the trigger on giving Hardy the title last month after many, many months of teasing and he won it off Edge, who is using his rematch clause here. In all honesty, the thought of Hardy as the champion repulses me. As a singles wrestler, he is hugely over-rated in my opinion and can’t cut a decent promo to save his life. He is awful when given a microphone. He has taken to wearing some facepaint as well for some strange reason but it looks really silly and makes it hard for him to be taken seriously as the top guy. Edge on the other hand is one of my favourites and it was particularly annoying to see the belt taken off him after he only won it in November, which not only made Edge look weak by not having one successful defence but also devalued the title. But hey, titles in WWE these days are meaningless and nothing more than fancy decorations.

They have been running a story whereby a mystery person has been trying to kill or seriously injure Hardy. This started with the rather tasteless story of Hardy (who has a history of drug problems) being found unconscious in a stairwell. Then someone tried to take him out in a hit and run and last week his fireworks went wrong. It is widely assumed that it is the returning Christian Cage and he will cost Hardy this match to help his on-screen ‘brother’. But is this just too simple? WWE have been in the habit recently of trying to ‘trick’ fans and going in directions other than the obvious. I know who I want to win, but I’m not sure what will happen. I’d go for Edge to win, do the rematch next month and then be set Christian/Jeff Hardy match at Wrestlemania. But the problem is, Hardy is already being portrayed as too sympathetic and screwing him out of the belt would be perhaps going overboard and in fairness, he hasn’t done anything terribly wrong to warrant it being taken off him nor has had a chance to showcase what he can do as champion. It’s a coin-toss really.
Prediction: Edge to win the WWE title

World Heavyweight Championship
John Cena (c) vs. JBL w/Shawn Michaels
Recently Michaels has become an ‘employee’ of JBL as he has wasted all his money away and is now broke. And this storyline has been a huge flop because firstly is it just unbelievable given Michaels is one of the best paid guys in the WWE and also the shows are meant to be a form of escapism, not more depression and it is a bit insulting to all the workers that got sacked.

Cena is a wrestler I hate. He is average in the ring, average on the microphone, yet he sells lots of kid’s merchandise which is why he gets pushed to the stars more often than not. JBL is poor in the ring, but he is very good at talking so it wouldn’t be the worst case scenario if he won although historically JBL/Cena matches have not been great. In all honesty, Cena should be retaining to build him as a strong champion for 'Mania but again it is not so simple. There is the inevitability of Michaels turning on JBL by the question is: when? Michaels could help his ‘boss’ win the match and then build to them over the title at ‘Mania with JBL thinking he will have it easy. Which would be fine but they could do that anyways without the belt, the story is in place. They would use the tagline ‘Texan vs. Texan’ because ‘Mania is, surprisingly, in Texas. Best case scenario, Cena retains and JBL then berates Michaels for not helping him, pause for tension, then JBL get a Superkick in the face.
Prediction: John Cena to retain

Royal Rumble Match
30-Man over the top rope Battle Royal with the winner receiving a WWE Championship or World Heavyweight Championship shot at Wrestlemania
This is the one that gains the majority of the interest and is usually fun enough with 2 men starting and then a new one entering ‘randomly’ at set intervals. There are usually plenty of false finishes particularly near the end. This one should be the main event, but it was necessary to get some back story in above. If you win, it also allows you to jump to another show in order to take a shot at a main title of your choosing. Let’s take a look at some of the more likely winners along with some made-up odds...

Batista – He is currently injured and not expected back for a few months yet...but so was John Cena last year and he made a miraculous recovery to enter at #30 to win. This was, admittedly a pretty big, unexpected surprise. I could see some rationale in it seeing as people wouldn’t expect the same thing two years running but I doubt WWE will pull the same stunt again and Batista probably is legitimately injured, so I’d say it is very, very, very unlikely that this will occur – Odds: 1000/1

Christian – Assuming he comes back and helps Edge win the belt, he may be rewarded with a spot in the Rumble as a reward and at time of writing there are still 7 spots to be filled. Though they are usually reserved for ‘Legends’ who get rolled out every so often. Still it would be an interesting twist and could lead to a dream match between Edge & Christian over the belt at ‘Mania – Odds: 20/1

Edge – Yes, he is in the title match but say Christian does not show and Edge loses the match then the Smackdown General Manager Vickie Guerrero, Edge’s on-screen ‘wife’, could secretly grant him a spot. Imagine a situation whereby there is one guy left and the buzzer for the #30 entrant rang yet no-one showed. Edge then creeps out from under the ring and dumps the guy over the top rope to win. I wouldn’t totally rule it out as it would keep in line with Edge’s ‘Ultimate Opportunist’ gimmick whereby he seeks out any method to win – Odds: 10/1

The Undertaker – He won it 2 years ago but I doubt he will make it 2 times in 3 years. But if he were to win then he would probably go on to win the title at Wrestlemania for the third year running and he already had an excellent feud with Edge last year, so it as much as I like him, it wouldn't be as interesting as someone getting the nod – Odds: 9/1

Big Show – He is a heel, which would be a good foil for Hardy if he were to retain. But Big Show could turn face quite easily too as there is some tension boiling between him and Edge, which could set up their match – Odds: 8/1

Chris Jericho – He was fired on Raw two weeks ago yet begged and grovelled for his job back this week and it was granted. Again, with so many people in general losing their jobs due to the current economic climate, this must have been a hard pill to swallow watching it on TV. But Jericho is in limbo at the moment. He is just off an excellent year, even if his 2 title reigns were disgracefully short and is without a storyline currently. Which is why he looks a good outside chance as he could face off against Cena, although they half-heartedly did that a couple months back. Or he could jump ship to the Smackdown brand and square off against Jeff Hardy which would be fresh or even turn face and fight Edge which would be all the better. Jericho is one of my favourites as he is so sound in every department and excels at playing both a good and a bad guy. One to look out for in the match – Odds: 5/1

Shawn Michaels – As previously mentioned, JBL ‘owns’ Michaels and has forbid him from entering in the Rumble. Now if JBL were to win the title then he could reverse this in the hope that Michaels would win and thus giving him an easy title defence. Or Michaels could break ranks and enter this match himself somehow. Rumours are that this may be Michaels last ‘Mania later on and given it is in his home state as well, they might want to give him a big send-off and one last title run. There has also been stories of him facing The Undertaker at ‘Mania too. If he does win the Rumble, it also opens the possibility of him renewing his rivalry with John Cena over the title. So, Rumble victory or not, at least they have options with Michaels – Odds: 3/1

Randy Orton – He has been one of the top heels for a while and he is just so ‘hot’ at the minute he gets a reaction whatever he does. He also is the leader of his own stable so this year is obviously going to be a big one for him. And he has also got the biggest momentum going into the match, after kicking his boss in the head. He looks a very solid pick to win the Rumble and set up a match with John Cena. But because there is so much focus on him at the minute, they are not in a rush to build his Wrestlemania match, so the victory won’t be as essential to him as it is to other wrestlers, as they have outs with Vince coming on a warpath at him. Definitely one of the favourites though – Odds: 2/1

Triple H – I think it is fair to say at this stage that whatever happens, he will be closing out the historic Wrestlemania 25 holding a newly won title. Hell, he loves himself that much, he is the owner’s son-in-law, and his wife is the head story writer, it’s almost a certainty. How he gets there is the question but I think this is the ticket. A bit of focus has been on him in recent weeks, but he has suffered a couple of losses and has no momentum. Which is why he is such a great person to win. WWE tends to reverse book things meaning whoever is on top going into a PPV generally loses their PPV match, it is the opposite here. Plus all sorts of obstacle have been put in his way that he is entering at #1. And if Triple H were to win it from being the first man in, it would finally allow WWE to lay to rest the spectre of Chris Benoit’s achievements at the Rumble at few years back when he won from being #1 and completely wipe him out from their history at this event, which they are keen to do. WWE would use their favourite son to re-write the history books of being to last man to go straight from the start to the end of the match. Triple H has been at loggerheads with Vickie Guerrero and an Edge/Triple H feud would be very new. Triple H is my pick to win and he will definitely be there or thereabouts, I’d almost guarantee he’ll make the last 3 men left – Odds: 15/8 (favourite)
Prediction: Triple H to win the Royal Rumble

ECW Championship
‘The All-American American’ Jack Swagger (c) vs. Matt Hardy
Hardy lost the title two weeks back and so this is his rematch. Them switching the title admittedly surprised me as I knew WWE were high on Jack Swagger, he is still undefeated in singles competition, but I didn’t think they would push him so hard, so fast. But even though he has only been on the main roster for a few months, Swagger has already shown tons of potential. He has a good look to him, is athletic, has a nice cockiness/arrogance about him and seems comfortable enough on the microphone. I really this guy and he just seems to have ‘it’, and if he keeps his head straight, he can really go far and become a huge star. He makes the most of all the opportunities he gets on TV and seems to be improving each week and had a really good match with Fit Finlay recently.

Matt Hardy is, in my opinion the superior of the two Hardy brothers, yet creative don’t seem too fond of him. They play him up well as a babyface chasing the title, but when he ultimately gets the belt, they just shove him into boring feuds and don’t capitalise on everything they have built up. I don’t see him winning, it’d be silly to switch the title soon and a PPV defence would make Swagger look good. Especially if it is a clean one and there is no real reason why it should not. It’s hard to tell how Swagger will cope in his PPV début, but from every indication so far he should be fine. He might even revel in the big-time atmosphere. And Hardy is a very fine, dependable, worker so there will be no problems from him. I’m looking forward to this one.
Winner: Jack Swagger to retain

WWE Women’s Championship
Beth Phoenix (c) vs. Melina Perez
This feud has been built up very nicely and on paper looks a very solid contest. Phoenix is excellent and can hang with absolutely anyone in the world while Melina has come on nicely and is good enough, one of the better WWE women wrestlers in fact. These two work well together which is a bonus. But it is unlikely we will get a clean match between the two. Recently a ‘fan’ Rosa Mendes (FCW developmental wrestler Milena Roucka) has been planted in the crowd proclaiming to be Phoenix’s #1 fan and has interfered in matches when Melina is beating down her idol. She got ‘banned’ but Phoenix’s on-screen boyfriend Santino Marella has convinced her to take her on and train her. All well and good but I can see this angle ultimately failing. From all accounts Mendes/Roucka is not a very good wrestler which means the pay-off with her fighting either Melina or Phoenix will be really poor. Also this type of angle has been done to death in recent years; they introduced Mickie James in this fashion and also Phoenix herself the first time around. Even TNA managed to do it successfully when they had Tracy Brooks ultimately get confronted by Rain. (Yes, TNA done something right. They deserve credit for it.)

What will probably ultimately happen is that Santino will dump Phoenix for the new chick, which would be fine enough. Phoenix’s partnership with comedy figure Santino has helped get her over, so the pairing has been a success. They could then release Santino (who I hate; he's crap wrestler and his routine got old after two weeks) and Mendes/Roucka (just another pretty face with little ability) for all I care. Right back to the match then, Phoenix is going in with all the momentum so I doubt she will win cleanly. What I’d guess is that Melina will be on the verge of winning but Mendes will interfere to save Phoenix her title. It keeps the babyface looking strong, gets heat on the heels, you have grounds for a rematch soon, and the storyline ticks over. Or the other option is that Mendes and/or Santino messes up the interference and costs Phoenix the title, which could happen as Phoenix has had the belt for 5 months so we are about due a change. I'll go with the former.
Prediction: Melina Perez to win (via DQ)

Last Man Standing or Counted-Out?
This show looks fine on paper and some of the matches should be worth a look. Edge/Hardy will probably be very good, the ECW match looks potentially very exciting and should be solid at least. The other two should come in average at the very least. I’m expecting one title to switch and I’d say it’ll either be the WWE Championship or the Women’s belt. Changing more than that might be overkill. The Rumble match itself should be highly entertaining; there is something about not knowing who is going to appear next that gives you a nice thrill. Plus the card looks really unpredictable with the potential for lots of surprises, which is great and should make for a good watch.